A Post of Lasts

It has been a week of lasts. My final week here in Tennessee. Last fall, I would have been excited and ready to go home, but now I feel like I am home. I have a set routine, a job to get done every day, a place for my things, family... Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to go home, there is just a LOT to miss being out here.

Sunday, I went on post for the last time, shopped with Samuel, Lisa and Elsa for the last time.

Monday, we Skyped with the Balkema clan while I wore my "It's a Monday" shirt, which I always seem to be wearing when I see them. I played my last game of Caracassonne with Samuel and Lisa. And I lost. Samuel and Lisa got me a gift for leaving. It was super thoughtful. I got them a little hat for Elsa, a book and some of their favorite chocolate. The feeling is mutual, we're going to miss each other.

Tuesday, I cleaned out the desk and consolidated my bathroom items. Took care of a sick little Elsa who had a 102 degree fever and was super snuggly and sad.

Wednesday, I cleared out the closet and packed my suitcase. I wanted to leave Thursday open for cleaning and cooking some things. All my stuff barely fit. I'm going to have a heavy carry on, which sucks for the layovers. I ordered a flat rate box from the post office, so I'm really hoping it comes tomorrow, so I can ship a box of stuff home. I made my last dinner for Samuel and Lisa. It was delicious mushroom and chicken risotto.

I can't think about leaving, about how much Elsa has changed in the few months I've been here and know that she'll continue to grow for all the months I won't be here. I've had a taste of what love is and I know already I'll know what heartbreak feels like. It's not a surprise, I know I would feel this way, even before I committed to coming out here. I knew that every time I thought about leaving here there would be an ache in my throat and tears in my eyes.

So as this page is about to turn over, I'm cherishing each snuggle, each baby kiss and each random, loving hug or the times she comes up and says "hi Gracie" in her sweet baby voice. She will never remember this time we've had together. Tomorrow is my last day of "work". But who knows... I might come back.

I'd appreciate prayers for the transition home and know that I am looking forward to seeing my dear friends and family.  <3